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B A L L P E E N ( ! ) B U L L E T I N S
updated: October 19th, 2004

ITEM! Somebody pass the Excedrin, cause as regular readers of the Jazzy One's riveting writings are already aware, those saucy superintendents at Skin Graft are rolling out a big-ass bundle of bombastic beauts this fall - and naturally, each and every one is a surefire, slam-dunk, certified smash hit!!!!

First, your righteous reporter o' rock whacked you with word on GORGE TRIO's wizened wowful warbles, "Open Mouth, O Wisp"! Then your gallant Galahad of Graft graced you with the gab on the vinyl victory that is QUINTRON's "The Frog Tape"! And NOW your monolithic mangod is here to tell of two more albums destined to be deified by dazzled & dumbfounded devotees of devilish discord WORLDWIDE! Yes, the Jazzy One speaks of the Skin Graft debuts from Portland's powerhouse of pristine pound, POINT LINE PLANE and St. Louis' supercharged sultans of sound YOWIE! And that's not all, wouldja believe that QUINTRON's Frog Tape is hitting the stands on the venerable CD format to boot?! BELIEVE -Oh, Skin Gratfcateer-- BELIEVE!!!!

These releases are so deliciously dandy, so asskickingly out-there, that the Jazzy one positively predicts that you will find yourself purchasing multiple copies of each, dutifully double bagging your prized picks and stashing them away as cocksure collectors items, guaranteed to attain a value of positively preposterous proportions, far in excess of the paltry retail price. Your mild-mannered monarch of mirth further forecasts that you will buy EVEN MORE copies to give your friends and associates as gladsome gifts that will madden, moisten, and mesmerize, surely cementing your friendship from here to eternity.

Now sluggers, allow Jazzy Joe a few moments to self-medicate - and while I'm away, review these writings on our most recent round of royalty-ridden recordings:

POINT LINE PLANE began as a synth/drums duo creating noise music with pop hooks and touring the US relentlessly. As electro continued to fizzle and screamy dance-punk/neo-no wave enjoyed a brief spike of popularity, kids and college radio DJ's took note of Point Line Plane's eclectic and original style, contrasting the sound to innovators like LIARS, EX MODELS, and LIGHTNING BOLT. Actual comparisons were hard to draw however; and reviews in print and online found writers grasping for metaphors rather than listing influences.

In two short years, Point Line Plane played over 100 shows and continued to hone their near-telepathic live skills in destructively short 20-minute concert performances. The production of the self-titled album and their subsequent score for the feature documentary film Haunters made it clear that their studio abilities were unquestionable as well.

Point Line Plane's sophomore effort and Skin Graft Records debut, Smoke Signals, tackles failed communication in all forms. In late 2003, the original synth/drums duo of Joshua Blanchard (ex-Sensualists) and Nathan Carson (ex-Witch Mountain) were joined by Howard Gillam (aka Supersprite) on second synth. While the addition of a third member could have created a wall of sound throughout, the album is more often reflective of restraint, tension, and drama. The ingredients of Smoke Signals; repetition, hypnosis, psychedelia, paranoia and darkness; all combine to form an album that will satisfy extreme noise enthusiasts with its sonic textures - while finding favor abroad with it's classic songwriting and flat out greatness.

Hang tight heavies, we're soldiering on!

ITEM! Its profound geographical isolation makes Australia an unlikely habitat for a missing link renowned to exist for millions of years without being documented by science, especially since no primates are indigenous to the continent. Nevertheless, the land down under claims its own version of Bigfoot, the Yowie. The creature's long history can be traced back to aborigine legends. An aborigine folk tale explains that when their people first migrated to Australia thousands of years ago, they encountered on the new continent a savage race of ape-men. The aborigines' ancestors went to war against the ape-men, and in the end the humans triumphed, thanks to their ability to make weapons.
- Bigfoot Encounters

Three years in the making, Cryptooology, YOWIE's debut album, is an album at war. Yowie, a dual-guitar and drums trio from St. Louis, have been stunning audiences with their incomparable barrage of sonic kung fu. Shawn Oconnor (Captain Captain), Jim Hagerty (Malade de Souci) and Jeremiah Wonsewitz (The Elements) accelerate the progressive-rock rhythmic sensibilities of RUINS and MAGMA and mutate them with the shriekier side of BIG BLACK and SLAYER. The band incorporates many variations in time signature, tempo, and tuning, to create a virtual audio maze, but no matter how complex things get; their compositions remain cohesive and compelling. In 2004, with their debut album still being recorded, the strength of Yowie's live show alone garnered them a nomination in The Riverfront Times' 2004 St. Louis Music Awards, alongside local acts as diverse as Nelly and Chuck Berry to Jay Farrar and Chingy.

The Yowie has yet to be found in Australia, but will soon be found touring the world in support of Cyptooology. Enter the venue at your own risk - and for fuck's sake bring a camera!

Friends, your ears will waxen in delight upon hearing the triumphant twosome of POINT LINE PLANE and YOWIE, but that's not where the fun ends! As you are well aware Skin Graft is a full on audio-visual outfit, just wait til your peepers peep the majesty of these two new works of art! Verily, it has already been assured that in centuries to come the entire Skin Graft catalog will be preserved under glass in some far-out gallery, probably on the moon, but today you can hold in your very hands the latest Skin Graft CD masterworks. For YOWIE, we are pleased to present the peerless penciling and incomparable inks of Rob Syers, paired with the perfected paints and lavish layout of Mark Fischer. If the Yowie CD were a hotel, we'd be talking 6 stars - for the bathrobes alone! And equally astounding, weighing in at a lofty 9 panels (18 if we count the flipside!) prepare to savor the POINT LINE PLANE perfection put to paper by the ever effluent E*Rock. The SG Surgeon Generals strongly suggest you have a spare pair of retinas nearby prior to viewing. E*Rock's fabulous fold-out proved to be so phat that the original run of booklets wouldn't even fit in the jewel cases - causing our befuddled manufacturer to actually inquire if they should "tape" the jewel cases shut to prevent unsightly bulging! Never fear - E*Rocks paper epic was reprinted and this time around it fits! No acquittal required!

And hold your horseflies, heroes cuz QUINTRON's fantastic fable of fright "The Frog Tape" is ALSO out and about and ready to creep you way-out! That's right, last go-round the Jazzy One spoke on the splendid spookiness conjured by the amazing spellcaster, and now - heave those hosannas at their highest cuz not only is "The Frog Tape" available on the hip retro "vinyl" format, but it's additionally available on that novelty of the nineties- the compact disc! You'll find praise o' plenty on this one from your frog prince of pickled platters - just scroll down to the previous update!

POINT LINE PLANE, YOWIE and QUINTRON - All three are ready and able to be ordered now. Checks and money orders go to the P.O. Box and Paypals can go HERE. Itchy ears? Don't scratch! Fill them with our 100% FREE MP3's at the AUDIO page. The Skin Graft server is standing by to dump dozens of downloads to your desktop! And for more details on each of these regal releases, check their individual entries at our CATALOG page. Thank you.

ITEM! Gather round, grovelers and get the goods on the winner of the YOWIE /POINT LINE PLANE advance CD giveaway! World famous, SKiN GRAFT is renowned for it's captivating contests dating all the way back to the 1987 zine days smash "Win A Dream Date With The SKiN GRAFT Guys" - which netted a whopping one entry and a night out at Taco Bell for the winner (with unlimited hot sauce!). Our latest contest didn't involve a whole lotta effort on your part (see the previous update for details) but the number of entries was indeed astonishing! Nearly 800 email addresses clog our new mailing list (with a significant amount not bouncing or invalid)! On September 17th, former Vic Tayback lookalike contest winner Chirp Waxmen was flown in from Natchez, Mississippi to pick a winner and pick he did! It is my pleasure to crown AUBREY "Aubs" O' DELL of Texas the new SKiN GRAFT heavyrock Champ!!! Entries flew in from all over, from Boise, Idaho to Lagos Chile to Rome, Italy and even Chicago, Illinois! And even though everyone but Aubs is indeed a certifiable loser, take comfort in that you are ALL winners in our email address book! Due to the overwhelming response, and the fact that everyone likes free stuff, we'll drop another contest soon-ish. So, if you haven't already, join the mailing list up top so you're sure to be notified when the eggheads upstairs figure out what it's gonna be!

Open Mouth, O Wisp

ITEM! Word O' Open Mouth continues to spread as GORGE TRIO's latest CD marches on toward its rightful place in the world, top of your CD collection. If you're still minus this one, hold the fries and get your $12.00 over here now. A quick review: "Open Mouth, O Wisp" is Gorge Trio's magnum opus; a late North American power combo sound in the tradition of Mark Ribot's Shrek work and US Maple's postcool canker, sporting a palette as effectual and varied as the Sun City Girls. GORGE TRIO is comprised of three-fourth's of the critically acclaimed recording artist COLOSSAMITE, which disbanded in 1998 and are survived by three releases on SKiN Graft Records. GORGE TRIO includes current members of DEERHOOF, THE FLYING LUTTENBACHERS, NATURAL DREAMERS, and former members of underground pioneers ICEBURN and SICBAY. Gorge Trio have recorded two previous full length CD's for Italy's prestigious Freeland Record label: "Dead Chicken Fear No Knife" and "For Loss Of" with Milo Fine (of the Free Jazz Ensemble - circa 1969). As COLOSSAMITE, they recorded "Economy Of Motion", "Frisbee" and "All Lingo's Clamor". Details on each can be found on-site. Guitar, electronics, drums. It's not easy music, but -hey- this ain't the place for "music for dummies" anyway.

ITEM! Last time the Jazzy one tossed the teeniest of tidbits to tickle your taste buds with word that you'd be seeing a very good deal of RUINS at the International House Of Graftcakes in 2005. Since this nugget of news was posted, our mailman Marty Lumps has requested another route, our already massive mailbags have doubled in size with queries as to "what goes on"?!!! Jazzy will serve it to you straight, sans syrup. The more astute and acute among you may have noticed that the next catalog number up for grabs is GR75, which is surely an anniversary by my watch and the granddaddies of Graft are never ones to allow an opportunity to celebrate slip by. So it is with a P-word of pride that Jazzy Joe announces the impending release of a new Split 7" and comic set - in the grand old style pioneered by SKiN GRAFT way back at catalog number GR01. The bands? None other than Japan's dynamic Drum and Bass duo - RUINS - paired with the reigning rulers of riff - HIGH ON FIRE - (sporting Matt Pike formerly of Sleep and Joe Preston, ex-Melvins)!!!! This most special of sets will be released in conjunction with the rabble-rousers at Relapse Records, home of the meatiest metal around. Drawing is already underway in the Skin Graft bullpen where Rob Syers is again chained to his drawing board (with the TV remote by his side). Skin Graft CEO Mark Fischer will be lending a hand and Jah-willing we'll be seeing this in early 2005. And yes, Wisenhiemer, we know the photo of HIGH ON FIRE is out of date. No pic of the updated line-up was available at press time. Sheesh!

But this spiffy split single and funny book is just the beginning!
Following shortly thereafter, SKiN GRAFT will unleash RUINS "Vrresto" full length CD to a dynamic US debut! Previously only available as a pricey import and out of print to boot, "Vrresto" is widely considered the most rocking release in the Yoshida / Sasaki Ruins repertoire. RUINS founder Tatsuya Yoshida has painstakingly remixed and remastered the originals and woo-boy are you in for a treat! Even if you're one of the fortunate few who laid claim to the original, you'll want to pick up this puppy. Where most remixes reduce their records to a saccharinely-sweet clarifying clean, Ruins run counterclockwise roughening the edges - with a tad o' dirt and grime! And before we move on, ponder this pontificant ones - with Vrresto on the horizon, can Palaschtom be far behind?

Rumor Dept: U.S. Maple's Todd Rittmann has been sighted performing out and about with CHEER-ACCIDENT! Jazzy will neither confirm nor deny this one, but is throwing it out there cause it sounds so right! CHEER-ACCIDENT's got two (count 'em) uber-deluxe new releases out now - the Gatefold sleeved double LP and CD set "Introducing Lemon" and the CD and comic book set "Gumballhead The Cat". Don't have them? Better mow a few more lawns or ask pops for an advance on your allowance cuz if your collection has these gaping holes, you're leaving yourself wide open to ridicule and scorn (and not only from the Jazzy One!).

ITEM! Ahhhh - another Gumballhead Beer put to bed! I've assumed dictate position and turned the typing over to my personal assistant Fabulous Florence Waters, as the Jazzy One's pinky is a tad inebriated. It's been a while since we checked in on the ongoing adventures of Graftdom assembled's favorite fightin'-mad feline (that would be Gumballhead The Cat) as chronicled in the pulpy pages of ROCTOBER Magazine. So lets take a look-see shall we? Ace SG cartoonist Rob Syers (winner of 5 Feldstein awards) has constructed a humdinger of a yarn, aptly titled "Head In A Jar" in which a decapitated Gumballhead finds himself in the midst of a puzzling plot involving black magic, hard crime and cult intrigue. We've tossed up a tantalizing tidbit of the proceedings from chapter three here at the SG website (as seen in Roctober #39), so to glom an eyeful click AWAY! Issues of ROCTOBER can be ordered by visiting their website HERE .

Alright, with that funnies business out of the way, lets dip back into the brew. Ever since we announced that Gumballhead made it into bottles as a real live beer courtesy of THREE FLOYDS Brewery, we've had an abundant amount of requests from those in remoter areas asking if it would be possible to score Gumballhead Beer via Skin Graft's mailorder service. The problem, pals, is this, postal regulations are not keen on booze by mail and even that aside, we'd still have to concern ourselves with age statements and whatnot because if your under 21 in this country, you've gotta have your older buddy buy your beer. Now don't get me wrong, when it comes to corrupting the youth of today, Skin Graft is at the top of the list, but sending flavorful wheat beer through the nation's postal system ain't gonna happen anytime soon. However, wipe away those tears and unclench those fists cuz Jazzy Joe is meeting you halfway yet again! To satisfy your saddening solicitations, to pacify your pained petitions (and to make more money), we're offering Jazzy's personal "empties" direct to you at home! Yes, now YOU can have a big 22 oz Gumballhead Beer bottle of your very own -complete with a signed certificate of authenticity!!!! Yes, the Gumballhead Beer bottle makes a heckuva conversation piece and is a dynamite decor that your friends and neighbors won't find at Ikea! Stick flowers in it, start your own jug band or give those sea monkeys of yours a cool new home -the possibilities are endless! Only $8.00 postpaid to the p.o. box or via the paypal shop and it's yours!

ITEM! The debut of the SKiN GRAFT Two-In-One Poster-Newsletter has been BIG! Not only because it measures damn near 3 feet x 2 feet, but also because it's so damn cool! The first issue in our infrequently published series delivered full color posters of both GORGE TRIO and QUINTRON's new releases and reprinted the wondrous wordage waxed by your wizened wizard of witty one-liners - Jazzy Joe! The first edition proved so popular that we're at it a second time with a new issue - this time around sporting posters from YOWIE and POINT LINE PLANE and even more gab from the Jazzy One! AND BEST of all - These will come FREE with orders for a limited time! Now, don't start taking these for granted, there currently are no plans for a third edition anytime soon. But for those of you missed our debut splash - hit the "everything else" section at the Skin Graft paypal shop where we've tucked away a few spare copies for our allegiant mailorder amigos.

ITEM! ARAB ON RADAR - LEGENDS! Yes, in the short time since their untimely demise we've seen the AOR star continue to shine bright, with both "Soak The Saddle" and "Yahweh Or The Highway" finding new ears to rattle everyday. But the story doesn't end there. Certainly by now all of Jazzy's disciples are familiar with THE CHINESE STARS, sporting AOR's Eric and Craig in a leading role. And even more recently, two more Oscar contenders made their debut on a don't-miss double feature - I'm talking about MADE IN MEXICO (featuring AOR axe-wielder Jeff) and ATHLETIC AUTOMATON (sporting AOR's other guitarist Steve)! Our allies at the esteemed New Addition label have dropped this split CD in our laps-o-plenty and we're making it available to you via Skin Graft mailorder while supplies last! A paltry $8.00 postpaid to the P.O. Box (in the U.S.) makes it yours! Paypals, check out the "everything else" dept of the paypal shop for the ease of on-line ordering!

And for the love of Pete, DON'T MISS THE CHINESE STARS on tour with Kill Me Tomorrow and Moving Units! Dates are at the TOURS page!

And finally, one of the most-asked questions of the Jazzy One is "what the fuck is up with that new SKiN GRAFT comic book that's supposed to be coming out?" Yes- it is true, the unholy trio of Rockin' Rob Syers, Mirthful' Mark Fischer and Jeepin' Jeff Bentle have indeed been at work on the first NEW issue of SKiN GRAFT COMiX - after a decade long hiatus!!! Problem is that the project is constantly getting interrupted by lil' things such as releasing records, filling mailorders and internet surfing! To prove to Graftdom Assembled that work is progressing - take a scan up top at this detail from a three page HOT and SERIOUS comic (starring SKiN GRAFT's own Hot Satan and Serious Brown), that has been in the works for nearly two years! Who says this isn't the Skin Graft age of unparalleled procrastination!?!!! Watch for this one no later than 2010!

Friends, that's Jazzy's story this go-round and I'm sticking to it. But before I go, I leave you with the immortal words of Randel Ni McHoffa: "Ko-kneequona yuphant rolesus!", which, when translated, comes out something like...




updated: August 30th, 2004

ITEM! It's roll outta the sack and get yer lazy ass back to school time, so listen up peachpit, the doctor is in! That's right, your professor of profoundly pompous puffery, Jazzy Joe is back from rehab and ready to do you some learnin - so please be quiet, like good ladies and germs, and no passin' notes!! Got it? Over the summer semester the Jazzy one lectured on the wonders of things to come, particularly QUINTRON's "The Frog Tape", a haunting spook-inspired vinyl and CD slab guaranteed to be XXX rated - cuz it'll scare the pants clean off of all who listen! Remember? Anyone?

Alright, you in the back there, scroll down and read the previous update, then report back here. And step on it; the class is waiting! Okay, where were we? Ah yes- The Frog Tape will be in stores this Halloween, but sure-shootin' we've got the vinyl LP ready and able to be ordered - pronto! As in RIGHT NOW! So before the campus Moonie's, Hare Krishna's and bullies convince you to part with the lunch money you've been pocketing from pops, allow me to toe the company line and fill ya in:

Hailing from New Orleans Louisiana, Quintron is renowned as the greatest, excitingest, most fullest of the spiritest, rocking and especially rollingest one-man-band the world has ever seen. His tours with Miss Pussycat and her Flossie and the Unicorns puppet show are highly anticipated events and his infommercial for the commercially available "Drum Buddy" electronic device has garnered him legions of new fans on the rock and DJ circuit. But "The Frog Tape" is an altogether different kind of experience.

What began as one of Quintron's practice tapes - the kind that usually gets erased, lost or thrown away - turned into the perfect album for Halloween night - or whenever you want to set a spooky mood. The Frog Tape begins with haunting organ and drum buddy instrumentals, including "Bride Of Frankenstein", "Stray Cat Strut" the upbeat "Scary Office" and a creepy cover of an old Johnny Mathis song called "No Love". Also featured on side one is a demonstration of Mr. Q's eerie new "Backwards" playing technique. Not a joke of any kind, what you have here sounds like audio tape of an organ being played in reverse or like a vinyl record being spun counterclockwise - it's not! Quintron achieves this effect by damping all of his keyboard attacks with the expression pedal and swells each chord to full volume so that the "decay" becomes the attack and visa versa. The result sounds... well, it sounds like he's playing backwards! And then closing the album, a full side of real life! Actual singing frogs, no overdubs, performing the strangest, most out of tune symphony of frog sounds you'll ever hear! Part haunted house recording, part field recording, if you really want to scare people on Halloween night, or if you just want to hang around with some friends and get disturbed for fun, then Sammy, you MUST have THE FROG TAPE!

Sounds cool, huh? It'll sound even cooler once it's delivered straight to your door and slapped on your turntable! Vinyl LP's will be in-stock mid-September (CD's coming this October), so why not get the jump on the Draculas down the street and score this now from the paypal shop?!~ Checks or money orders go to the P.O. Box and Paypals can go HERE. We've slipped a FREE MP3 under the door for you here at the AUDIO page. And for more details, check "The Frog Tape" entry in our CATALOG and QUINTRON's BAND page.

ITEM! October is going to be a busy month here at The University Of Northern Skin Graft, not only is QUINTRON's spooktacular specialty hitting the shops (on CD), but here's hoping you've learned to tread water cuz the floodgates are opening wide as the SKiN GRAFT splashes from YOWIE and POINT LINE PLANE drop! You'll find a spattering of early info on each in the previous update below and advance MP3's are up at the AUDIO page now! To further fan the flames of fandom-assembled's favor, we're giving away one copy of what the suits here in the industry call an "advance CD" - that includes both full lengths - POINT LINE PLANE "Smoke Signals" and YOWIE "Cryptooology" - for your unadulterated pleasure. Believe you me, you'll never find taunting and teasing your pitiful peers more pleasing than when you proudly proclaim yourself the winner of an advance earful of Graft Goodness (which their mangy mitts won't be able to glom onto for nearly a full month!)!!!! Deadline for the contest will be Thursday, September 16th. One winner will be chosen at random by Chirp Waxmen, the 1988 winner of "The Skin Graft Vic Tayback look-alike contest," on Friday, September 17th. The winner will be notified immediately after the drawing. All you have to do to is sign up for OUR BRAND SPANKING NEW MAILING LIST above and you're in like flint. Please note: The winner will not be allowed to speak to Mr. Waxmen.

ITEM! Because you demanded it, LOTS of RUINS in 2005! More info next time!

ITEM! The critics have spoken! Some of them LOVE the new album from GORGE TRIO "Open Mouth, O Wisp", while others absolutely DO NOT! Yes, as we've come to expect here, not everyone likes their ear bended in our direction, but never fear loyal Grafter, we'll keep bending the sounds we like toward you! We've started to compile reactions to GORGE TRIO's latest at the band's all new PRESSBOT page and we're making it available to you too! Take a gander at early reactions TO THE FUTURE'S ALBUM OF THE YEAR HERE !!!!

ITEM!If there's one thing Jazzy Joe has learned during his tenure at Skin Graft, it's that you've gotta stay ahead of the next guy. See, the Jazzy one leads an active lifestyle, and when I'm finding my way to the riverboat casino I want music and I want it portable! That's why I've been sporting my skip-free, vertical atmosphere turntable backpack so I can listen to my favorite albums anytime, anywhere! Now I realize many of you are still stuck with MP3 players and as a result crave MP3's of your favorite Skin Graft recordings. Yes, we offer a helluva free spread at our audio page to pique your interest, but for some of you that has simply not been enough! We see your raised hands, and hear your polite requests for bathroom passes & places to buy legal MP3s, and if there's one thing we aim to do here at SKiN GRAFT, it is to please. Jazzy is here to tell you that our pals at Download Punk have stepped up to make the SKiN GRAFT catalog available to you and your niche market! Yep, now rather than sweating it out in fear that the Feds are gonna blow your house down over that FLYING LUTTENBACHERS mp3 you illegally downloaded last week, you can do the right thing and score legitimate paid downloads from the web AND put a couple of pennies in Weasel Walter's pocket while your at it! You can see for yourself HERE! Be sure to do it now, you can bet this whole computer fad is gonna be over soon, that's why we here at the Skin Graft Labs have invested so much time and money in home typesetting kits and state of the art slide rules. Anybody wanna buy my VHS collection?

ITEM! And finally, it's been a long time coming, but The Fireside Bowl will no longer be holding shows ( ! ), cause unless you've been under a rock lately you certainly have noticed: Bowling is the "new" Skateboarding! Balls-RAD!!!! Over the years most every band affiliated with our esteemed outfit here has performed alongside the highly polished lanes of "The Fireside" (formerly Chicago's premier all-ages punk venue) with only a few suffering from ball and/or pin mishaps. Our comrade Brian Peterson posted the following on his MPShows page: "Hey guys, Jimmy said 'Get the fuck out, bowling is making a big comeback so we are going to go for it!' I will miss you all...." Never fear, Brian is on it and has other venues lined up, so you can rest assured that Chicago will continue to offer congregating opportunities for your basement bands, SxEx rallies and satanic mating rituals.

OK, Next update will be coming round the bend very soon with details on the SG debuts from POINT LINE PLANE and YOWIE. But right now, the Jazzy one needs a cocktail and a ride to the track, so I'm hoofing it over to the Drivers Ed class. Meanwhile, you keep your feet on the ground, your nose in a book, your hands to yourself and your ears on yer old pals at Skin Graft!




NEWS: MID 2003
NEWS: MID 2002
EARLY 2002
NEWS: MID 2001


NEWS: MID 2000
NEWS: WINTER 98 / 99

NEWS: WINTER 96 / 97